Posted this on Instagram the other day, but thought it’d be a good Tuesday post here.
Just gonna say it: I am sick of the social media #TransformationTuesday “before and after” pics of eating disorders.
You want one? Here, you got it. It’s not that different.
Had an interview with a magazine last week about exercise addiction – they followed up wanting my drastic, shock-infused before and after pics for click-bait.
I don’t have it. Like I’ll write again and again, my weight was never that different in my eating disorder. At times, it was a bit more physically apparent. But, that’s not the definition of eating disorders – it is not the definition that invokes shock and awe.
Eating disorders are a mentality. They are a maniacal obsession. They are not really about weight, but more about the weight of the feeling that you must abide by this and that – and that you are not able to combat it alone.
I am tired of the cultural stereotypes of eating disorders which end up hindering others from seeking help. Those of us with eating disorders often live in shrouded shame that we are not “sick enough” because of what we see eating disorders depicted as in society.
I went on for 8 years with my eating disorder before my family intervened and begged me to get help. 8 years of missing my life because I was under this bullsh*t impression that we have to be a certain weight to qualify as an eating disorder patient.
We have to change the conversation on weight and the correlation with eating disorders. We just have to because eating disorders are the number one most fatal mental illness – SURPASSING depression.
These before and after pics of me – these are not indicative of my eating disorder. You know what is? Looking at that little girl on the left and knowing she’s looking down because she’s terrified that a camera went off and she’s not in all black, baggy clothes. Knowing that I starved myself the rest of that day out of shame.
That girl to her right – with the computer – and the grin – that’s me. That’s what I am. It’s not about weight – it’s about living flexibly okay – secure, confident, and okay with what is now