A Play-By-Play To Wearing A Bikini For The First Time

So, you’ve committed. You’re doing it. You’re going to walk around in a bikini for the first time in 8 years. You’re nervous; you’re vulnerable; and mostly you’re scared.

In a series of pictures, here’s how it goes:

linds2
Commit. Pause. You’re doing it.  So, now what?
linds5
Uh, Spin?
linds3
Make a face?
linds23
Moment of panic. Scream at friend “WAIT, WTF AM I DOING.” I can’t. I “can’t even.”
linds16
But you did. You dropped towel. Oh SHIT, GRAB WINE. TOWEL REMOVED. Man down. Legs revealed.

linds18
Crouch…. ’cause legs are showing. Vulnerable.
linds15
Start the process. Cue Magic Mike ”untz untz untz untz.”
linds14
Nervous laughter. Not laughing. Snorting.  Shit, snort more.
linds13
Pretend to ”chill.” Fake laugh- oh God shirt is coming off. STOMACH ISN’T COMPLETELY FLAT.

linds12
MUST DRINK THE WINE.
linds9
Exposed. So exposed. “Yo- I am mother-‘effin exposed right now.”
linds10
Vulnerable. Look down. (halfbun on point.)
linds17
“Lindsey, move your wine.” But, can’t I just do this? Isn’t this cute?  This is fine. I’M SO FINE. *Head tilt extreme*
linds8
“LINDSEY, MOVE IT.” Look up. Hold wine in front of stomach. Also, filtered.
linds6
Losing filter. Wait, bare legs. Christ, must move the arm in front of stomach.  Big SMILE. VULNERABLE.
linds11
“LINDSEY, MOVE THE WINE.” Slowly. Giving. In. But. Filter. Shoulders. Arched.
linds7
“Linds, think about why you’re doing it.” Giving In… Still filter.
linds20
“LINDS! YOU’RE DOING IT!” Bam. Oh. I’m wearing a Bikini. No filter.

Game over.

And hey, life keeps moving-

So I can be free.

‘Cause once it’s done, it’s done.

And now the world can see all my Lindsey skin.

Because it’s all really just skin and soul.

linds24

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “A Play-By-Play To Wearing A Bikini For The First Time

    1. Suzy- thanks so much for your wonderful comments! Your responses really help spur me on to keep writing about this lil’ demon- and all the various aspects that go into it (which, as you know, are so many.) Thanks for adding me on FB! We should chit chat- your expat life looks so lovely. SIGH. Wish I was doing the same!

      Like

  1. Pingback: The Truth About Being A Millennial Drunkorexic | I Haven't Shaved In 6 Weeks

  2. Pingback: Ladies, It’s “Crop Top” Season: Summer Life With Body Dysmorphia | I Haven't Shaved In 6 Weeks

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s