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Quick reminder: buffets suck when you have an eating disorder. Buffets will always suck.
Accept that.
And yo – It’s okay to work out on a holiday. It’s okay to not work out either. Had the worst binge of my life on 4th of July 2013, sitting with my relatives and frantically shoving the buffet brownies and coleslaw and baked beans and biscuits in my mouth. I laid on the floor that night, throwing up bile in a toilet, and I thought to myself “I’ll never be okay – I won’t ever be normal.”
I was right then, I’m not “normal.” I am a girl with an eating disorder, and I have to manage it. I have to be proactive.
I worked out yesterday, the day before, and this morning, ran 4 miles- sat down and took a selfie on a treadmill – cause it’s okay to do that too. I know what I’m capable of and I know that I need a run in order to keep my lil Ed head straight on a holiday.
I write a lot about “eating whatever” on vacation or not working out when you don’t feel like it, but the truth is I do love exercise (cardio) … in moderation. I love a good run. I love to bike. I don’t give a shit about weights but I love to clear my head.
Do what ya gotta do to stay present, to stay whatever your version of “normal” is. None of us are normal – were all sittin around with issues and demons. So run if you need it, do yoga if you need it, meditate if you need it, walk if you want it. It’s okay.
The buffet will never change. But you can change in order to survive it. Self care people, self care. 💛
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I love the acceptance of this piece. You are right, I will probably never enjoy or have an easy time at a buffet or on a holiday. But that does not mean it is the end of the world.
Here. Here. I loathe and avoid every buffet. Dodging them all weekend. I’ve learned to bring my own food and pretend all the other food is contaminated-that’s how I stay sane. Your binge sounds painful and oh I’ve been there. Tonight I’ll be carrying a tote filled with homemade popcorn. We learn what works and we do it. High five to you. 🙌🏻
I enjoyed reading this. You sound pretty “normal” to me 😉 but I know what you mean. I have also learned what works for me and I’m just so okay with that. I remember days like July 4, 2014 and that uncontrollable scary binge that never stops until it becomes the purge that will seemingly never end. It’s a good place NOT to be isn’t it!! Happy July 4, 2016. Stay present 💜💜💜